They refuse to put up any effort in trying to understand their children and their feelings. Perhaps the most visible symptom of all of a dysfunctional family is control.
Dysfunctional parents like to control their children in every aspect of their lives. Sometimes, they may use siblings to compete against each other just so they can control who gets their affection and who gets ridiculed.
Needless to say that growing up in a dysfunctional family can have negative effects on children. Aside from the general feeling that they are not loved, children from dysfunctional homes develop mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. Related Article: How to comfort someone with anxiety.
Major depressive episode in the past year among adults aged 18 or older, by age and gender. Source: www. It is no wonder then that children who come from dysfunctional homes may feel like their families do not like them especially when they are on the short end of the stick — receiving insults and never praised for good work and effort. And no, you are not being paranoid.
Perhaps the first sign you will notice is that you are being — ever so slightly — ostracized. You will notice that your family leaves you out of small activities such as chatting.
If you leave, the conversation and laughter resume. But if you decide to stay, you will notice your family starts to walk away and go into another room where they will begin their chatter again. Instances like these are meant to alienate you from your family and are usually being awarded by the adults in your family, if you have younger or older siblings, chances are they are doing this to stay likable to the parent.
These small actions will have you wondering and feeling like your family hates you — but you cannot be sure or bring it up because then you will be called paranoid and that will create room for mockery and ridicule. Over time, however, your family will start to show you blatantly that they do not like you — especially if you decide to stop playing into their little mind games.
When they realize they can no longer control your actions, your dysfunctional family will start attacking your emotions. They will do and say things that are hurtful to your face — or spread harmful and hurtful rumors about you to other people. All this is an attempt to break you and bring you down to their level — because misery loves company.
So what do you do when your family hates you? If you are still a minor, living with a family that is constantly putting you down and making your life hard can be quite hard to escape. We would suggest that you get away from them from time to time — and especially during school holidays. However, in the meantime, if things get too much for you to handle and it starts affecting your mental health, you should always talk to a trusted adult or your school counselor.
When you find out that your family hates you it can be quite disheartening. You will probably want answers as to why your family hates you — and if you are a child, you will want to find ways to appease them even after the fact.
Here are a few things you can do when you confirm that your family hates you. At this point, what do you have to lose, right? If you have reasons to believe that your family hates you, you may need to know why they hate you.
What could you have possibly done for them to treat you so badly? Although, it should be noted that 9 times out of 10 you did not do anything wrong. You may even have a different sexual preference than they do, or define sexuality differently. What they act towards you is an internalized self-hatred. It could be a family member or close family friends. Sometimes, a clergyman or woman can help.
People respect their religious leaders so much. When was the last time you phoned your siblings or parents? Perhaps, you did so during Christmas. It would not be easy. And their claim is justifiable if you usually contact them only when you have a problem and need their help. You can even schedule your calls. Try calling one family member a day. This way, no one will accuse being self-centered. Years ago, you were always the first to arrive at every family picnic.
It was always a great bonding time for the family members. But you no longer attend or talk about picnics or family meetings, and your relatives are worried. They think you no longer care. Such gatherings allow each family member to bond and straighten things out with each other.
Most of your family members might not inform you of the bad things said about you. They may keep it to themselves and show hatred towards you. So start attending family gatherings. But if you have other vital meetings on that same day, try to reschedule them. Maybe he or she might explain to others the reason you were absent. Do you feel like your parents love you more than they love your other siblings? If yes, then that could be the reason your siblings hate you so much.
They are jealous of you. But that jealously has turned to hatred. People of the Christian faith can relate to this kind of scenario. The hatred caused them to gang up against Joseph and sold him as a slave. Your parents want to prove they can raise the best kids in the world. They want all their children to be different and be a role model to the other children in the family and neighborhood. This might be the case if you live in a rough neighborhood full of bad gangs and corrupt kids.
If you go against your parents and keep bad friends, your family might start to treat you like an outcast. So examine yourself very well. And ask yourself this question; am I keeping the right friends? Every situation is different, but in some cases, you might decide to end your relationship with family members.
This is a highly personal decision and is often best made if you have had some time and distance to get some perspective on your experiences. Research suggests that family estrangement is not uncommon. In one study, Talking to a friend may be helpful, but you might also consider discussing your feelings with a mental health professional.
A therapist can help you evaluate the factors that have led you to this step and then offer advice about how to best proceed. Research suggests that reconciling after an estrangement can be particularly difficult, particularly for adult children estranged from their parents. While cutting ties can be stressful, research suggests that there can be positive effects as well. Feeling like you don't like your family can be an extremely difficult emotion to handle.
If you feel this way, developing social connections outside of your family can help you find a healthier support system and gain perspective and distance from toxic family members. Strategies such as distancing yourself from the situation, setting boundaries, or working to mend unhealthy relationships may be beneficial for your mental well-being. If a relationship is doing more harm than good, then it is often a good idea to significantly reduce or completely cut off contact with the other person or people.
If you are experiencing emotional distress, anxiety, depression, or other symptoms as a result of your dislike for your family, reach out to a professional for help. You might start by talking to a mental health professional who can help. Online therapy can also be a helpful option that you might want to consider. Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life.
Coleman J. Collins; Hidden Voices: Family Estrangement in Adulthood. Contributions of attachment theory and research: a framework for future research, translation, and policy. Dev Psychopathol. Curr Opin Psychol. Stand Alone. Family estrangement: advice and information for adult children. Published The counseling experiences of individuals who are estranged from a family member. Family Relations.
October Love Is Respect. What are my boundaries? Conti RP. Family estrangement: establishing a prevalence rate. Blake L. Parents and children who are estranged in adulthood: a review and discussion of the literature: review and discussion of the estrangement literature.
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